I am here to attest to the fact that someone built a better mouse trap and boy am I happy about that. Yesterday, my foster mom put some new mouse traps out in the backyard. She was setting them in the little box where those little critters are hiding. She left one on the deck that was set. Have I mentioned how much I love peanut butter? Well, I don’t think it is fair that we are feeding those little critters peanut butter, so I decided I would take it out of the mouse trap and we could put something that I don’t really like in the trap for the mice. Well, I started to stick my nose in the trap and SNAP!!! Yeah, I know what you are thinking…”Poor Topper!” No worries, though, someone built a better mouse trap!!!! I liked it so much that after it snapped, I picked it up and ran away with it. I really wanted that peanut butter. After she caught me, my foster mom told me that I am lucky she thought about Bettis and I when she got the traps or my nose might have been snapped right off- OUCH!!! She said that if it didn’t have a tunnel around the snappy bar, I would have been toast. Peanut butter does go really well with toast, though, so maybe that would have been okay. Hmmmm, I need to go find peanut butter toast…Have I mentioned I LOVE PEANUT BUTTER!!!
My foster family is a bit rude to me. First of all, they put all of my stuffies on top of me because they thought I was cute like this. I took every one of them out of my toy basket to play with...then I got tired. I went to sleep next to them in my bed, NOT with them on top of me. As if this is not bad enough, a greyhound as dignified as I am realizes that he is a guest in this house and thus, should sleep in the guest bed. NOT HERE I DON'T! I was very careful to not let my foster parents know that I was using the bed- well, until last night. My foster mom was cleaning up in the bedroom and I forgot and, well, when she turned around, there I was, standing on the bed. Oops! Anyway, I really thought that a guest bed was for guests and I am a guest, you know. I am very polite and do not get into bed with my foster parents at night. I was just hoping to get my own bedroom with my own bed. It's not like they don't have spares. Anyway, that is right out now, so I have to go back to sleeping on a dog bed. Don't they know who I am? Everything else is going well, but I am really hoping that I can find someone to love me who is not going to post embarrassing pictures of me and banish me to a dog bed. Of course, in my new home, I will not be a guest, so I guess the guest bed won't be an option. Just having a home will be good enough for me!
Oh my gosh...Seriously people, what is up with my foster mom? How embarassing, a guy can't even sleep around here without her sneaking up and snapping a picture. What is up with that? I'm going to have to start wearing my boxers when I sleep to keep her from catching me in these poses.
So, how does one recover from this kind of a photo. Well, I will take myself back to my dignified self and tell you how well things have been going for me. As you can see, I USED to be relaxed (now that I know a camera is right around the corner, we will see how that works out). I do sleep on my back a lot. What can I say, it is comfortable. I will do a rocking horse jog around the yard if you throw me my stuffies, but I am retired and don't care to run much. I am diginified, so my walks are happy little strolls through the neighborhood. I am not in a hurry to go anywhere now that I am retired. I absolutely love my people. I hate when they leave me, but if they give me a milk bone before they leave, I don't give them sad eyes. I LOVE TO EAT! I have to say that I don't need caviar, just food. I have a very healthy metabolism and don't gain weight easily. I don't really like to have my toenails dremeled, but there is not much I can do to stop it, so I just sleep through it. In fact, that is pretty much my answer to everything. I just go to sleep. Well, rather than bore you with my dignified ramblings, I am going to go back to sleep. Tally Ho!